I learned a famous saying in my childhood, meant to deflect the taunts of bullies: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Although this sounded comforting at the time, I soon learned how misguided it was.
What a rude awakening to discover that words often do more damage than sticks and stones. Our physical wounds are painful, but there’s usually a much shorter recovery time than for the destructive impact of people’s words.
In fact, sometimes the damage from toxic words lasts a lifetime. And there are countless examples of toxic words triggering sticks and stones – and even deadly forms of violence.
For those who study the Bible, none of this should come as a surprise. King Solomon wrote that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). He also pointed out that “a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
The Bible teaches that our words are never neutral. They either build up or tear down, imparting either life or death.
I’ve recently heard some people try to downplay how powerful our words are. Yet the Bible warns:
“The tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!” (James 3:5-6).
We all must bear responsibility for our words, lest we unwittingly start a fire. We need to guard our words and tone of voice when we interact with our spouse and children. And many of us need to tone down our rhetoric at work, on social media, and in the public square.
When you consider this war of words, what do you see when you look in the mirror? Are you part of the answer or part of the problem? Sadly, I’ve been both of these at one time or another (see James 3:9-10).
Some have described America’s cultural divide as a virtual civil war. Not only has there been a “war of words,” but the words have increasingly prompted deranged people to justify violence. Even though that should never be an option, it’s not a surprising reaction for people who’ve become convinced their enemies are “Hitler” and “an existential threat to our democracy.”
Whether on the left or on the right, we must be careful of the rhetoric we use in demonizing our opponents. Some of the negative characterizations are hyperbole, to say the least.
Cowardly Communications
In the 1950s and 60s, Westerns were at the peak of their popularity, both in theaters and on TV. I distinctly remember how cowboys like John Wayne and James Garner confronted any “bad guys” who challenged them: “Those are fighting words!”
However, things have drastically changed since the days when we dealt with our enemies face to face. Back in the Wild West, it took courage to challenge enemies, but the internet has changed all of that. Now we can sit in the safety of our home and freely cast insults toward people on social media. In most case, these are adversaries we’ve never even met.
Notice how social media has enabled cowardly communications in our war of words. Although this makes it possible to do great damage in a short period of time, many people are completely detached from reality. They feel no more responsibility than if they were eradicating villains on a video game.
We’ve also witnessed how the internet enables unhinged people to offer validation to each other. Antisocial chat groups freely radicalize young people, planting seeds of confusion, hatred, and violence.
Nevertheless, the Bible offers good news if we heed its instructions: God promises to “heal our land” if His people turn fully to Him (2 Chronicles 7:14).
But what can one person do? God’s Word says we each can play a positive role in resolving our nation’s war of words: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). If we are wise, that’s how we will use our words in the days ahead.
